NotDesignation: Spoiler  One Shot
by chaitea16
Summary: You don't have to read Designation: Spoiler to follow this. Though you may not get that it's really just a joke in completely poor taste. Contains eventual pseudo-con between a delightfully unlikeable heroin and a lovable villain.


**Author's Note: **Ever since writing chapter 2 of Designation: Spoiler I've been mentally bombarded by Skywarp to continue his scene. To get him out of my head and away from where I actually wanted that story to go, I started writing this little plot bunny. It turned into a comedic rape story where the victim is completely unsympathetic (if you know the character from her initial story). Actually typing it up was a twisted compromise but at least solved the problem (and as payback I threw in an awful Thunder Cats joke). This was never supposed to get posted on the internet. I blame peer pressure from friends who are just as warped as the voice of a 1980's cartoon character in my head for this coming together.

**Disclaimer:** Just borrowing Skywarp (cause he made me). Spoiler didn't have too much of a say this time, even if this chapter is from her perspective (for once, and only this once).

**Related Music:** Lordi – Who's Your Daddy

[Not]Designation: Spoiler

Chapter 2.5 (One Shot) – It's later; Caught You

_Who's your daddy,  
Say, who's your daddy?  
Who puts you in your place?  
Who's your daddy,  
Bitch, who's your daddy?  
Surrender and obey, who's your daddy?_

Spoiler was so lost in her own mainframe she didn't register a faint, mechanical warping noise behind her. She just continued to idle contently, oblivious to the world around her.

"**It's later,"** a teasing voice smoothly hummed into her audio unit from seemingly out of nowhere.

An alarmed yelp of surprise was ripped from her as the sudden rush of air accompanied a sensation of free fall. It told Spoiler two things: she wasn't on Earth anymore and who to blame.

"**Skywarp, you psychopathic slag for processors!"** She could barely hear his distinct chuckle over the wind. Wherever she was falling from, it was high up enough that the ground was nowhere in sight. The femme couldn't decide whether that was more comforting or terrifying.

The purple seeker chose that moment to appear directly beneath her with arms outstretched. **"Caught you!"** Skywarp announced it all too smugly as he wrapped around her frame. One hand held her to his chassis almost protectively while the other playfully began tracing the lining of her shoulder armor.

"**Let go of me,"** she demanded heatedly. Instead, Skywarp's fingers leisurely traveled lower. He barely seemed to notice Spoiler's frantic attempt to free her arms from his hold around them. **"I said let the frag go!"**

**::If you insist, dirt roller,::** she heard over her com-link when the feel of him surrounding her vanished.

The question of how he even know her private channel was blaringly overshadowed by the femme's panic-stricken cry as she once again found herself plummeting downwards. The strength of the wind rattled her frame which wasn't built to endure this type of speed or pressure; especially at such a high altitude. Spoiler grimaced and tried to spread her servos out to at least slow her decent. The action only seemed to encourage the rushing air to beat against her even harder.

A mocking tone came back to gloat, **::Bet you wish I didn't let go now, huh?::**

Her response began calmly enough but by the end was borderline hysterical when she sent back, **::no. What I wish is that slag like this wouldn't always happen to me. Wait, I actually wish you were never sparked. That way I wouldn't be falling to my deactivation in the FIRST PLACE!::**

Out of nowhere a huge black hand took hold of her wrist, bringing the femme to an abrupt stop. The extra momentum caused her to jerk painfully against the firm grip before she hung limply in midair. Apprehensively, Spoiler cast a look up at the seeker.

His faceplating was curved downward when he said, **"That's no way to ask for help." ** It took Spoiler a few clicks to realize Skywarp was uncharacteristically frowning.

She let out a humorless chortle before declaring, **"Yeah, cause the last thing I'd ever process to ask **_**you**_** for is help."** She noted that her sarcasm only deepened the displeasure in his features.

Skywarp briskly raised her to optic level and that intense glare was silently scrutinizing. The femme tried to keep her own appearance placid but a nervous twitch that started in her joints ruined the effect. Observing that seemed to pacify the seeker and he reached out his other arm to enclosed around her waist. Once again, Skywarp was drawing her towards him in another too intimate embrace.

That's when she finally remembered how to work her own vocal processor. After venting a sigh Spoiler groaned out, **"Don't make me ask again. I **_**really**_** hate repetition."**

She felt his chassis reeve against hers in glee before replying, **"I would never have guessed. What with watching you bottom out every time you pull up to make a move on TC."**

Now it was Spoiler's turn to scowl. _**Who the Pit does he think he is,**_ she wondered bitterly. _**Popping in and out all over the 'verse just cause he can is one thing. But this is just rude and inconsiderate, demeaning too, and… **_her thoughts fizzled out when she felt two hands move down her sides and back to encircle her aft. A panicked yelp of surprise escaped past her lip plating when he squeezed.

Spoiler had more than enough fragging around. He played this game once already so she wasn't about to let him pull this slag again. **"Break right there," **she warned in as threatening a tone her bell like voice could muster.

"**Why?"** The question was asked so innocently that Spoiler had to really look into his optics to be certain she heard right. Sure enough, Skywarp's bright red lights shined out at the femme harmlessly and his mandible gave nothing away. The effect was shattered when one of his hands pulled back to deliver a clanging slap to her aft.

Her vocalizer erupted in a shrike of outrage and she kicked her legs frantically.** "You are so fragging slagged!"**

"**What a coincidence. Cause I'm about to frag the slag out of **_**you**_**."**

At this point, Spoiler really wished she hadn't heard that right. But as his chest plating started to crack open towards her, the statement was more than jarringly confirmed. The femme's horror grew all the more when she felt her own chassis traitorously start to release in response.

Desperately she cried out, **"STOP!"**

Skywarp paused in his action before saying, **"alright,"** a little too reasonably.

"**Wait… really?"**

"**Oh yeah,"** he replied with a twisted gleam to those optics.

More than a little suspicious, she couldn't help but ask, **"What's the catch?"**

"**There is none,"** he answered darkly.

Spoiler felt her coolant lines squirm when his faceplating broke into a grin that defined the very concept of being a Decepticon. That's also about when his thrusters powered down.

Now it was her turn to hold onto Skywarp as the wind rushed up from all sides. Spoiler's voice modulator cracked a few times which broke up her lengthy scream. As loud as she felt she was being, the sound of the wind easily overshadowed her volume which, in turn, was chillingly drowned out by Skywarp's insane laughter.

Reaching to get a hold of the high air vent on his right shoulder, Spoiler managed to puller herself up and next to the side of his helm. Exasperated, by the effort the femme pursed her lip plating together as she worked to formulate a safe but meaningful reprimand to shout into his audio unit. Unfortunately, Skywarp chose that moment to turn and look at her curiously. The seeker's expression shifted as the faint click of his lips meeting hers seemed to become the loudest sound around them.

Every system in Spoiler's body froze up. At the same time, Skywarp's vents gave off an alarmingly strong bought of heat that briefly left condensation on her faceplating. Then his metal lips softened against hers and began to move. It was a rhythmic pressure that didn't come across as fevered even though his metal was becoming warmer. If anything, the seeker's attentions were almost… _**charming?**_ At that moment, Spoiler wasn't sure which should be her next ideal action: letting go and falling alone to her deactivation or allowing Skywarp to continue kissing her. She chose letting go.

With all the suicidal intent she could muster, the femme offlined her optics, released his shoulder vent, and pushed away. But the feel of his lip plating moving against hers persisted. Alarmed, Spoiler activated one optic to get her bearings. At some point during the kiss, Skywarp once again encircled her with those purple accented servos. His hold only tightened when she again tried to push away. Both visual sensors were now fully online and her battle system activated. It was just in time too, since the femme felt his glossa begin to work its way past lip plating and into her mouth. Denta bit down hard on the invading metal tongue and she silently delighted when the seeker emitted a yelp of pain.

While leaning back, Skywarp watched her with burning optics. **"Why you filthy dirt roller…"** he growled out with a shake of his helm. Gradually his thrusters powered on, slowing their decent until the two cons were past dense cloud cover and hovering above an all too visible landscape.

Spoiler's optic guards narrowed in an expression she sincerely hoped was conveying a promise for further pain. The seeker's amused smirk in response was unsettling, to say the least. Sensing yet another losing battle she tried a different approach by asking, **"Why me?"**

"**Why not?" ** After she started back at him blankly he finally elaborated with a shrug and, **"It's not like anyone else's lined up to rear-end that oversized front bumper of an aft."** As if to further emphasize the point, he ran one black finger over the curve of her headlight. **"Oh yeah. This is defiantly some low grade, no collision on the record, virgin metal."**

Beyond livid, she freed one arm and prepared to slap the offending seeker. But instead of making contact, Spoiler's hand cut through the air where his head had been. She then noticed that now familiar sensation of falling come over her. _**Not again,**_ she thought in dismay.

The femme couldn't even bring herself to cry out as gravity reclaimed her. _**At least the wind resistance at this altitude isn't nearly as bad,**_ she reasoned in an attempt at false comfort. _**But those tiny mountains are gonna start looking awfully big soon...**_

**::Surprisingly feisty considering how combat insufficient you are. Anyone ever tell you that?::** The transmission interrupted her thoughts and blinked obnoxiously, demanding attention. Spoiler tried to disregard it and fall to her demise in peace but another message began popping up beside the first to declare, **::BRACE FOR IMPACT::**

Perplexed, she sent back, **::Impact? But I'm no where near the-:: **her processor abruptly whirled at the feel of crashing through glass. Disoriented, she pushed up to find herself practically inside the cockpit of an F-15 Eagle. The metallic groan that escaped from underneath her informed the femme just who was flying this crazy plane.

Jubilantly, Spoiler broadcasted, **::Serves you right!::** over the channel.

The message, **::Worth it::** was quickly followed by the sound of a transformation sequence initiating. Warning bells sounded throughout her CPU as the jet broke apart and reformed while balancing her on top of it. Before the femme could successfully launch herself off the seeker, one hand shot out and grabbed her shoulder while the other captured her leg. Roughly, Skywarp pulled her against his smashed in cockpit just as his helm was revealed.

"**You know… Hook's gonna fritz when he sees what you did to your chassis"** she pointed out inanely.

"**I reiterate: worth it."**

The depraved smirk that curled Skywarp's lip plating was all the warning she got before the feel of something long and hard ran along her abdominal armor. She emitted an undignified screech that was swiftly cut short as the seeker's mouth entrapped her own. The passion of his kiss only seemed to build the more she tried to get out of it, all verbal protests cut short before they could fully form. At the same time, what she vainly hoped wasn't his interface cord began to work its way between the lining of her chest plating.

Somewhere under her armor, a disloyal system took the hint and released the latch holding her chassis together. Before the femme could initiate a manual override, Skywarp's cable dove forward and plunged into her unveiled access port. The convening of their processors created a sense of fullness just before a dominant wave of input completely overcame her. Firewalls shattered around Spoiler's mainframe and her security locks were superseded. Outwardly, her optics flickered in response while her joints locked up. After what seemed like megacycles, the spasms subsided enough to clear her optics of static. And what she saw took her ventilations away.

Silent and beautifully stoic as always, Thundercracker was poised in midair and holding her in his arms. The shining light blue of his armor against the sky was positively enthralling. He didn't speak. He didn't have to. That he was even looking at her was so much more than she had ever hoped for.

Spoiler felt the metal of her chrome face heat up and she turned away bashfully. A large black hand tenderly cupped the side of her helm before bringing her gaze back to him.

Still, she couldn't help but ask, **"Thundercracker?"** The femme's spark was practically fluttering in its casing while at the same time a muffled ringing sounded in the back of her mainframe. It was a cautionary sound that quite easy to ignore in the heat of this perfect moment.

In response, the blue seeker graced her with a charismatic smile. That was all the encouragement she needed before pressing her eager lips to his. He returned the kiss slowly at first, teasing her with quick flicks of his glossa before finally running it along her own. She submitted to following his lead all too willingly and was rewarded with an electrical current shooting through her circuits. The gasp of joy she made caused his hold on her to tighten even more.

As she shifted to be closer to the seeker, a burst of pleasurable energy jolted her systems. Curious, Spoiler ran a quick scan and discovered that she was already linked up to Thundercracker's processor. Another warning began to flash weakly inside her but was casually ignored. The femme just couldn't bring herself to wonder when that happened or even care how. She could only revel in the striking realization that she was finally experiencing this. Excitedly, she tightened her port's hold on the interface cable and deepened their kiss. A rough moan rocked through the seeker's frame before he pressed his cord further inside. The rush of their feedback swap of pleasurable data intensified, causing the femme's ventilations to double their efforts. At the same time energon flowed through her lines to power the exchange and made her joints feel weak.

Without warning, Thundercracker could be felt pulling away. His cord was slowly retracting and then held just inside her port where it went still. Engine revving in alarm, she broke the kiss to better read his face plating. The seeker's optics burned brightly back at her and his mouth was set in a guarded smile. With a forlorn whine, Spoiler started to vocalize her confusion. The question was lost in a garble of sounds when his interface cable roughly slid all the way back into her port.

Her vision pixilated at the new onslaught of information and she stammered out, **"Thunder- Thunder- Thundercracker…Oh!"**

An uncharacteristic chuckle rattled his frame at her reaction. Startled, Spoiler cleared her vision to get a better look at the seeker she was connected to. But before the femme could do a proper energy reading, her suspicion was quickly disregarded when he began a rhythmic sequence of thrusts and jerks that drove her relays wild. The ache he caused by pulling away only intensified the pleasure each time he pushed himself right back in. She buckled against his hold on her, which encouraged his steady pace to continue with renewed vigor.

While his cord worked her internal systems, the seeker gently traced black digits along a particularly intimate seam in her armor. She felt him follow it down and over towards her aft. Once there, Thundercracker's bliss ensuing hands skillfully stimulated several sensory nodes she didn't even know she had. This elicited a purr of her engine that escalated into a full blown scream from her voice modulator.

Vibrations from the seeker's own frame strengthened and became more erratic as he manipulated her systems. A fresh surge of energon coursed through her lines and seemed to light up every circuit all at once. The pent up energy strained inside her before finally releasing in a system crashing overload. She felt the wave of power wash over her, super-charging everything, before flowing out from her port and into Thundercracker's cable. Spoiler's armor crackled against his when the wave of pent up impulses flowed right back into her own systems before once again rushing out. This pattern continued until the excess energy dissipated and both cons were left heaving to cool their overheated mechanisms.

Exhausted, her frame went limp against his and lip plating curved upward into a satisfied grin. The feel of the blue seeker beneath her was all she wanted to focus on. But then another obnoxious warning decided to flare up again. She tried shutting it down but now something about 'altitude' and 'danger' kept popping up. Spoiler wished for nothing more than to delight in those minute shudders running through her frame and bask in the afterglow of interfacing. So to placate the ill timed alert she reluctantly looked into its signal.

Apparently the flier who had been keeping them both airborne must have had a lapse in judgment at some point. Or, at the very least, forgot to maintain his thrusters as once again she was falling towards the ground at a frightening rate. Fully comprehending that sensation of freefall, her focus on ecstasy gave way to apprehension.

After a quick assessment of their position she shrieked, **"We're gonna crash!"**

"**Huh?"** The sleepy response came just as the ground rushed up to meet them. **"Oh,"** Thundercracker remarked almost lazily. **"Hold on."**

She did just that as suddenly their surroundings vanished with a mechanical warping noise. The liquid in her tanks flip flopped and she found herself held about half a mile above the Earth and descending at a much more controlled rate. _**Did Thundercracker just…**_ her thoughts came to an alarming halt as all the warnings from early became blaringly clear. **"S-Skywarp?"** The question came unbidden to her quivering lip plates.

Without hesitating the blue seeker replied, **"Yeah?"**

Tensing up, her port cast out his interface cable with a jarring force. As the connection broke, every suppressed program flared up and her security systems immediately began repairing themselves. She was also able to accurately preserve a paint job that was definitely black with purple highlights. Not blue. **"I was...but that- that was you?"**

Even with her servos now flailing erratically in his arms, Skywarp was able to land gracefully. **"Obviously. Who else would have the 'slag for processors' to interface with your bumper-backwards systems,"** he rumbled wickedly. Dropping her to the ground unceremoniously, the seeker considered the femme for a moment before emitting a snicker. **"Yeah,"** he said while running a hand along his ruined cockpit, **"your expression definitely makes this little excursion more than worth it."**

Spoiler was gaping at him in disbelief even after he took off to the skies. When her processors finally eased out of system shock, she was barely able to sum up the will to close her chest plating and offline her optics to the world. Curling in on herself in this unknown location, the femme despairingly wished there was a diagnostics program that could delete the last cycle of her life like a bad line of code.

_Get down, get down  
Lay down, lay down  
Stay down, stay down_

_For daddy_

_Who's your daddy,  
Say, who's your daddy?  
Who's your daddy,  
Girl, who's your daddy?  
Who's your daddy,  
Bitch, who's your daddy?  
Who keeps you in line?_

**Skywarp's Warped View:**

He wasn't even trying, didn't usually have to, and she had the audacity to reject him. Not that Skywarp was unfamiliar with the experience. But still, to be so thoroughly refuted by the most desperate femme on this back'verse mudball was pushing it. Sure it started as a joke, but then he actually tried being nice and she still preferred his wingmate. A mech that shared his make and model but with the personality of a fritzing drone. Now, he had nothing against TC, who was the closest thing he actually had to a friend. But there was no way any right mainframed femme would choose him over Skywarp. It just didn't compute.

Pit, even when he initiated some charm Spoiler still didn't want him. Then he utilized a more seductive technique to throw her off. He shouldn't have needed to try that hard.

She was obviously desperate, and he was blaringly awesome. What was the problem?

If anything, at least free falling with a dirk-roller, despite her subpar frame type, made for an exhilaratingly sizzling moment. Followed by her crestfallen face just before and then after interfacing became quite the trophy memory file. It was always more fun when femme's were willing. Or in, Spoiler's case, hacked into being willing. Cost him less energy and they often did most the data transfer. All he had to do was maintain a stoic demeanor and she'd never know the difference. Though, that part did end up being harder than anticipated.

He didn't mean to expose himself. It would have been more fun to let her think it had been TC, and then watch her drive after him like they actually had something between their circuits. That would have confused the slag out of the blue seeker. Though, come to process about it, what Skywarp did to her this cycle was the closest she'd every get to intimate mech relations. So the black and purple seeker actually did the ungrateful little scrap heap a favor. Sure he'd like to hear the blasting of little thrusters some day, but not with her sequence encoded into their little sparks. So this was likely her first and last experience, and he would never grace her with a spark merge. It would be depressing if it weren't so fragging hysterical.

One thing was for certain, though. Skywarp sure did get to show Spoiler who her creator was.

_I break your will  
I'll break your will for good  
I treat you like a brute_

**Breaking My Rules:** I'm keeping this out of my story's continuity because I made three ground rules for if I was going to have an original character, let alone one that in any way resembles me. They were primarily there to give the story focus while deterring it from becoming a Mary Sue. The first is that no chapter will be from her perspective. Secondly, she is incompetent and not particularly likeable or attractive to most cannon characters. And last, no sex for her. This broke two of those rules *deactivates self out of shame.*

But then, considering all the overdone rape sequences many authors do for their original characters, I'm kinda proud to have such a twisted variation on the overused situation. Besides, it's not every day an author comes up with a comical rape where the victim is completely unsympathetic purposefully.


End file.
